Shelby Cass’s Weblog

No one ever sits around and revels over how awesome their body is. Okay, that’s not true. But as far as I’m concerned it is. Meaning, I don’t have frequent thoughts like “Wow, my body is completely healthy.” Instead, I notice when it’s not. I don’t think that is uncommon. But I would like to introduce a new concept, at least to myself.

What if, when I wake up in the middle of the night and feel a splinter in my thumb, instead of getting upset and thinking “Sheesh, will I NEVER be fine?”, why don’t I turn it around and say “A THUMB splinter? That’s the worst of it right now? RIGHT ON.”

My first inclination tonight after realising that my thumb hurt was to despair, “Could I PLEASE go some period of time without having an issue?”  Then I thought, what about the space between?  The space between this physical annoyance and the last?  I should revel in the fact that I am not in chronic pain and there is, in fact, space between.

And so that is my revelation now which I got out of bed and broke my sleep hygiene rule to write. That’s my plan and I’m sticking to it. Good night.

This should satisfy those Mochi-watchers out there.  She’s only 1.5 lbs lighter than Rira now.  Crazy belly baby.

Today I saw hot Doctor Steve my dentist (he has a Shelby too) and he filled Mr. Crapity sans big needles full of numbing drugs.  I mean really, I’m still numb on my gums, a little nerve action shouldn’t bother me.  Actually, I don’t like getting numbed, so unless the doc knows they are going to touch/expose the nerve, I go numbless…  There were actually 3 people (including me) today who declined drugs in the office.  So I guess they’re crazy too.

Off to Hawaii in 3 days.  Life sucks.  Again I ask…how on earth did I get friends like the ones I have?  I mean, loan me your house in Hawaii?  Yeah…I dreamed that.

Aloha!!!

Today was my ultrasound of my kidneys. They made me drink 24 oz. water 1 hour before pressing very very hard on my belleh…that’s just mean! Well, I found out that more fluid=more pain. So I’d like not to do that again, except that they keep telling me to push fluids. Blech.

One would think (well, I was hoping) that with all this nausea and lack of appetite I would have squeaked a little closer to my OTT goal, but alas, I am still in the 149 range, though one morning I saw 147 and almost broke the scale jumping in excitement. So I guess that diet is on hold…or done with and the new one is called…Operation MMAniversary. So maybe one year after my date of surge (December 26, 2006) I will be the ALL NEW, ALL IMPROVED Super chomping and gleaming tooth action super hero I would have dreamed of being, if I could have had normal dreams. How’s that for a mouthful?

Speaking of a mouthful, I went to a movie yesterday called “Wrist Cutters. A Love Story” Okay yes, bad title…but AWESOME movie. And Tom Waites is in it, so…BONUS. I loved it…and you know what else I loved? POPCORN. A whole frikkin bag of it with MY NAME ON IT. I was shoving that stuff in and getting my hands all greasy and Courtland almost lost a finger trying to snag a kernel. Oh I was loving that. And then I flossed last night WITHOUT the stupid threader thingy…Heaven, I tell you. Absolute Heaven.

And just because I’m so excited to have slippy slidey teeth, I will show you again…

I’m going to make a time line…I am hoping to figure something out. It started in July of this year when I decided to go back on THE PILL. You know the one. Although there are millions of pills in the world, if you say you are on THE PILL, not many have to ask for clarification, unless they want to know “which one”. So, I warned Courtland…I am going to be nauseated and horrible for 3 months. And he said okay, and so it began.

The nausea. The uck. The horrible horrible uck. More than a few times Court said “maybe this wasn’t such a good idea” and I would say “I’ve done it this far, I may as well stick with it. Only 3 months…”

I guess I should add here that the reason I stopped the pill many years ago for health reasons. I had bad side effects and decided to detox for a while.

So, July began the trouble and August sucked. In September I began feeling the pain in my left flank inside. I passed a couple stones. I got pyelonephritis after insisting I had an infection and no one believed me until I produced blood in a cup. So they treated me for that. I still had nausea with eating and drinking, and the pain. Oh the pain. But as you know, the urologist I got told me I psychically predicted my kidney infection because that pain was completely unrelated.

I went a few days (the lst few days of your pill pack) without nausea and things were feeling better when I started my next pill pack and BOOM nausea. And that was the beginning of month 4 so I was OVER IT. And I stopped the pill. The nausea is less, but still there. The pain is definitely still there. What pain? Let me try to describe it: When I inhale I get a SHARP stabbing pain under my ribcage on the left towards the back. While inhaling, if I press on my side I can make it hurt more (wooo fun!) and when I toss and turn at night it wakes me up. I am unable to create the pain without flinching or making sad noises. The good news is it only hurts with inhaling and not exhaling, so only 50% of my day sucks.

In October I got a cold. It started in my throat and went into my chest. I got a cough. Sounded worse than it felt. The pain is not when I cough. It’s when I take in a deep breath.

It’s November. I worked all of 4 HOURS in September with all this stuff, and now it looks like November will be a money hemorrhage month too. I hope you don’t mind getting well wishes from me instead of gifts this holiday season! So anywho, I was at work on Monday when the pain stopped being just with inhaling, I couldn’t even pick anything up with my left hand without pain, so I went to urgent care on the advice of my doctor. I have never wanted surgery so badly. I seriously was praying for gallstones so they could rip the gallbladder out and be done with it already. So you can imagine my despair when the ultrasound came back clear (only a tiny polyp in the gallbaldder and a mildly swollen bile duct) and the chest xray showed nothing significant.

My doc has scheduled one more ultrasound of my kidneys this time for Monday and then wants to pass me to a GI specialist. She wants to get this solved before I get on a plane for Thanksgiving week in Hawaii. SO DO I. But what do I do if she hasn’t? Grr… If it was just pain, I would deal. I can deal with pain. But the nausea. And the lack of appetite. I don’t want FOOD?!?!? That’s just insane. And I just got my braces off!!! I should be celebrating with crap…but I am not. I am celebrating with bland food and ginger ale and lots of pills.

I just want an answer…and I want to be able to eat food…and enjoy it…and…okay I’m done complaining. Just wanted to vent a little because I know my posts are usually happy and positive but this has been eating at me for far too long. I’m getting super depressed…and I don’t even feel like eating to help myself! Stick a fork in. I’m done.

Had to check to make sure it wasn’t a dream.  Yeahoooooo!!!!!

Well Gollllyyyyy! So this is life post-braces. Bring out the gum!

Let me tell you a little story about my yesterday.

Walked into Dr. Quo’s Mid-Peninsula Orthodontics and saw my name on the big screen, hailing my soon to be un-braced status. Christina greeted me with her usual lovely smile, checked me in, and away I went…

Christina

There are many awesome women working with Dr. Quo, but only one lucky woman was going to get the honor of prying pieces of porcelain from my teeth. Turns out Jamie got Shelby detail.

BEFORE (ugh self portraits while lying in a dentist’s chair…I don’t advise this for your portfolio)

and….

drumroll….

Where’d they go?!?

Oh, you thought we were done.

NEVER. BWA-ha-ha-ha This is another self-portrait. I kept cracking Jamie up because she’d maneuver all this goop in my mouth and while waiting for it to set, I kept pointing the camera back at her.

Dr. Quo makes her first appearance on my blog! She calls everyone “my dear” and is full of awesome. Right before this picture was taken, the whole team got together with noise makers and screamed congratulations and gave me a bottle of the bubbly. Bubbly what? Martinelli’s of course. It’s chilling as we speak.

Today I saw my dentist Dr. Steve and found out I got one little cavity (I have named it crapity) on the back of one of my top teeth, but ooh how I love me some slippy slidey teeth!

It’s official. I have reached New and Improved Shelby Status! I have cool night breathing action and BONUS slippy teeth! Buy one, get one free! Limited quantity. Hurry now!

First food post-braces: See’s candy butterscotch lolly (no teeth used, but nummy just the same)

First action post-braces: FLOSS (without a stupid threader!)

Second action post-braces: Totally DISCO dance in front of the entire office.

Regarding my surgery here’s what I have noticed. I can now feel (that sounds weird, but it’s the only way I can describe it) the places that are numb. Turns out I have one spot on my lower lip still MIA and most of the fronts of my gums are on haitus in the sensitivity department. My teeth are SOOOPER wiggly but I can’t tell since there’s no feeling in my gums…but Dr. Steve had fun wiggling them around a little.

I now move into official post-post surgery status. And so it goes…

Dr. Quo said, and I believe, that my braces come off today. So here are the last pictures EVER taken of me with braces…(so far)

OUTTA HERE!!!!

Dreaming of slippery teeth…ahhhhhhhhhhhh

My birthday was 2 days ago and my scale showed 149…UNDER 150?!? Thrilled. Operation Turkey Trot now underway.

When I Saw Dr. Li, he was happy with my progress (in the weight loss department). He said, “Getting warm…” and I didn’t quite get it…so he raised his eyebrows in a PG-13 kind of way and said, “Keep going…to HOT.” I gufawed. Honestly. He doesn’t want to see me again until next year *sniff* so I guess he’s sick of my mug. One thing he did note was how incredibly wiggly my teeth are. He was a little concerned so took an x-ray to make sure the roots were not significantly shorter, and found that in fact they had not changed since before the surgery, which is great.

Went to Dr. Quo and found out…(sorry, but I have to yell here I’m so excited) MY BRACES ARE COMING OFF IN 4 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!! *hop hop hop* *boing boing boing* WooooHooooooo!!!!!!

On Monday night my throat started to hurt…and got worse and worse. And Tuesday my throat hurt more. And Wednesday my throat hurt in a different way that was not a better way and I had to teach a class and went home immediately after. My friend Colleen had even decorated my desk all pink and frilly and I sat at it for all of 15 minutes total. Then I went home, had some Mrs. Grass’ chicken noodle soup (it’s all about that golden egg) and Court came home early from work and was all set to do whatever I wanted for my birthday dinner…and I was a lump and sadly had to tell him I was not hungry. I asked if I could take a raincheck for my birthday…and that doesn’t really work, so I think I have to wait until next year. It’s just not the same when you toast to your birthday that has already happened… By yesterday (Thursday) my sore throat had migrated and now I have a chest cold and icky icky cough. The weather is perfect for me to snuggle up with the kitties, drink hot tea, watch Smallville (he so cute) and make jewelry, so that is what I shall do. You can’t stop me.

My friend David brought cookies over last night from his mom for me. I told him if he loved me he wouldn’t have brought them all…because now I will eat them all. Yummmmerlicious. How many jumping jacks do you think I have to do per cookie? just let me know and I’ll start jumping.

I’m headed out the door to see Dr. Li and show him the ultimate success of Operation Birthday Suit. If I had a fatsuit in a bikini (like in Shallow Hal) I would SO wear it today.

Today I weigh 151 lbs. That is, I believe, less than my pre-surgery weight and minus at least 10 lbs from the time Dr. Li told me I was “much hotter 20 lbs ago”. So…halfway there. I also got a receipt in the mail from Dr. Li’s office, and it showed…get this…a ZERO balance!!!!!! Hooray! Now I just have to pay back my father and I get to start living debt free with all the oxygen I want to breathe at night. Awesome.

I was looking at the picture of me and Bill from Vegas and I notice we look remarkably similar. Did you notice that too?

I’m going to ask Dr. Li if all his patients end up 1/2 Japanese.

By the way, no congrats on Operation Birthday Suit…we’re now moving on to Operation Turkey Trot. I don’t feel I rightfully earned congrats on OBS because I kind of cheated with the whole kidney-infection-can’t keep-anything-down, braces-banded-shut-lips-torn-to-shreds-so-I-look-like-a-giant-herpe, so-I-stay-at-home-and-mope-for-a-month-and-am-unable-to-eat-my-comfort-food thing.

Operation Turkey Trot: 141 by Thanksgiving and have an exercise routine.  Readysetgo!

Ah, the loveliness of the world that is timeshares…and if you JUST SAY NO you can get FREE trips to Vegas.  But if you say yes, you’ve bought yourself a monthly payment that you get to will to your kids.  Won’t they love you?  Anywho, before all the kidney fun and braces banding and shredding of my lips, I had “won” this trip, so Wednesday night saw us sliding onto a plane to Sin City, and what followed after that…well, I know what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, but I’m going share, as is my nature.

First of all, I couldn’t get Courtland to NOT work, so of course he brought his computer and I figured, heck, if he gets to geek out, I can at least check my email.  So I checked…and found out that a fellow Kasey’s Kid (that would be another person who had the same surgery for sleep apnea) was in town…so we arranged an impromptu meeting.  It just underlines the fact that I cannot go ANYWHERE without running into someone I know…  So SeattleBill, Courtland and I met up and hit the town.

  Courtland and Bill reenact the tragic Sigfried and Roy event.

mreow

And then it happened.  Only hours before our flight home, we stopped for lunch at what appeared to be your typical diner…but no.  On the menu was something that made my heart (and cholesterol) leap.  It read: Barbeque Pulled Pork Nachos.  It must be mine.  So I ordered, and the waiter IMMEDIATELY said, “Um.  It’s BIG.”  I said, “Okay” and he said, “No, I mean REALLY BIG.  4 people could share it.  It’s like our house specialty.  People get their pictures taken with it.”  And I looked at Courtland and he said “Get it” and I said to the waiter, “You can charge me full price and make me a mini one” to which he replied, “No.  But you can take the rest home with you.”  So we got the camera out, I took the rubber bands off of my teeth (I’m sure the waiter was wondering how the heck I was going to eat anything talking through clenched teeth like I was), and we waited…and it was worth it.

And with that, my diet was over.

The eyes in the Entire restaurant followed my nachos from the kitchen to my table and people were staring so much and so shocked at the enormity of it that I invited everyone over to try some.  No one took me up on it…they just stared.  And I ate.

And I ate.

And I ate.

Our waiter was so impressed he asked to have his picture taken with me.

To be completely honest, Courtland helped a little.  he had like 5 chips, so I didn’t do it all myself.  And to be even more honest, I really just took a fork to that mountain and ate all the BBQ pulled pork off the top of it, then asked the waiter to bring the plate back empty.  But don’t get me wrong.  I ATE A LOT.  And it was good.  And I am so glad that I hate Las Vegas and won’t go back anytime soon because more than one mountain of BBQ Pulled Pork Nachos in one’s lifetime is probably quite enough.

*burp*