Entirely Uninhabitable with Operating Olfactory System
DUDE. Our apartment REEKS. It is horrible. It’s as if we have turned into the crazy cat lady house overnight and we only have two frikkin cats. I used to pet sit for a friend I had in hight school. He family had way too many cats and dogs and their house was horrible to smell. She had a stuffy nose all the time. Allergies? Well, needless to say, she didn’t smell it. Her parents probably didn’t either. But now…what I have vowed against all my life has come to pass. I need help.
It all started with Rira. Okay correction: It all started with me and all my CRAP. Mountains of it. Rira likes to climb mountains. And when she jumps off said mountains, they tend to crash down and make a big(ger) mess. Now that Court is in the 2nd room as his office, he thought perhaps he would prevent nocturnal damage to the room by closing the door. Makes sense. But he neglected to take care of one little detail. He locked Mommy cat in there…for over 12 hours. Not his fault at all, and really what kind of cat mother am I to not notice that Mommy was not present at bedtime (I think I may have reveled actually in the lack of litter in my bed that night. Serves me right). So, unfortunately, the next morning when I was looking for Mommy, we found her in the closed off room…and try as I know she did, she had to go to the bathroom…and chose to do it under my desk. I’m surre she thought she was doing us a favor by not using the furniture or something, but it’s very hard to get under there… We cleaned with good old Nature’s Miracle…and all was good…until Court accidentally did it again. oops. Seriously. He felt so bad about it, it seemed a pity he should have to suffer even more by then working in the smelly cat pee room. So we scrubbed again…but then life turned horrible(r).
Frikkin’ Rira. She has decided that is the new litter box and goes right under Court’s nose. Literally. He’s sitting right there!!! And so now I have ripped the carpet up (oopsie I got mad) and poured tons of Nature’s Miracle on both sides of the carpet AND the pad underneath and scrubbed and scrubbed and then poured calcium carbonate (in the form of some odor removing bottle of stuff with the named Tidy Cats on it) on the top and bottom and the pad and then we set up two fans to blow their little hearts out…and hence the entire apartment smelling like CAT URINE wearing really cheap perfume.
I went online and ordered some Urine-Off product that’s supposed to work, and a blacklight so I can see how gross my carpets really are. I’m going to have a cow pretty soon and all my crap has GOT to go. Seriously. I think I am either listing everything on Craigslist or throwing it in the dumpster or having a garage sale. This is crappy. I hate myself sometimes.
So…again, don’t stop by anytime soon. It’s stinky here!!! And also, I’m not in the most convivial of moods. So unless you want to take all my stuff away from me in a nice un-wrenched from my dying hands manner, we should maybe talk later rather than sooner. It’s cause I care that I tell you these things.
smac out