Shelby Cass’s Weblog

All right. Today is December 23,2006. 3 days from now I will be wheeling (okay I won’t be doing the wheeling I will be the wheelee) into a 5 hour surgery with world famous surgeon Dr. Kasey Li . I won’t remember any of it, and after another week or so of his typical 2-3 of this same surgery, he probably won’t remember it either. That is what I hope. Because if he doesn’t remember it, it’s because everything went smooth as silk…just another day at the office as he says. So here’s to hoping. 
 
I am having surgery to correct my Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) . People can have different levels of OSA. I asked what mine was. Dr. Li said it was “pretty severe”. I think that means “Many people are worse than you but you should still have this corrected.” The sleep study they did at Stanford showed my sleep index at 37, which means I stop breathing 37 times AN HOUR. When they first told us (me and Court) what my sleep test results were, they said “you stop breathing on average 37 times” and Court and I though…Wow, that’s a lot of times to stop breathing in a night, but doesn’t sound TOO bad. And then they added the PER HOUR bit and we both did a double take. Dr. Li says that means I skip every other breath, and the breaths I do take take a lot of effort.  
 
That was a crazy day. 
 
I had been misdiagnosed with Narcolepsy a year earlier and the “Doctor” had me on this crazy medication that was essentially killing me. It put me into a deep Delta sleep (the stuff I would never get since my body was waking itself up to breathe every other breath) and even though I said “I wake up drenched in sweat. I have these HORRIBLE dark circles under my eyes. I am losing weight like no one’s business and I do NOTHING all day”, her response was, “you look great. Wear concealer.” 30 lbs later, and man were my dreams that year horrific, I go to Stanford and find out that life could be better. By a lot. 
 
Super sweet. 
 
Unfortunately, with the application of the Snufeluphagus CPAP contraption, I no longer work so hard to stay alive at night and my body decided it was okay to pack those 30 lbs back on (plus interest). I now have so many wardrobes it is INSANE. I went from a size 10-12 to a size 4 with the mis-diagnosis, and a year and a half later, I am wearing elastic waistband pants because I know (Read: hope) that I will lose weight after this surgery since I will be on a liquid diet while by teeth are banded shut and be able to wear at least the 10-12s which I grew out of a long time ago (Read: I’ve got a big gut). 
 
I’m rambling. Nothing new. Back to the point, which is that I am having surgery on Tuesday morning to CORRECT my OSA. Sweetness. I am having 3 things done (I’ll pretend I know what I am talking about here). I will be having a Maxillomandibular Advancement which is the moving of my upper and lower jaws about 12mm forward to enlarge my airway. I will also have a Genioglossus Advancement which involves cutting the bone in my chin that attaches to my tongue muscle and moving it forward so my tongue doesn’t get friendly with the entirety of my airway whilst I slumber. Lastly, I will have my deviated septum repaired which means I can stop pasting strips to my nose at night to breath better, but it also means that making a piggy snout won’t have anything but aesthetic rewards now. Bummer. 
 
Does anyone know what I just wrote? I am pretty sure I don’t. My nutshell interpretation is: They’re going to break my upper and lower jaw, move things forward, fix my deviated septum (which I had only associated with people who snorted drugs) and give me a chin. The immediately after bit will probably suck, but the part after that is where I don’t have to wear a chin bra to sleep anymore and maybe I stop living on the side of the road (I spend a lot of time there especially in traffic when I just kind of fall asleep…so yeah, best to pull over). 
 
I just made the piggy snout nose. It’s cool to imagine I will be able to breathe that much fresh air on a regular basis. I think I will spend much of post surgery high. Okay, that’s kind of a fact, right? I mean, you don’t have someone break your jaws for Tylenol, right? I get the hard core stuff. The good stuff. The stuff that makes it painful to concentrate on a conversation, and even more painful to go to the bathroom since you’re COMPLETELY stopped up. The stuff that makes you pull out your hair and hit your head a lot and makes your skin crawl when they take it away.  
 
Yeah. I don’t like that part at all. But AFTER that. After all the swelling and bruising and eating through a syringe and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get pills past banded shut jaws anyhow… After all of that, when I am The New and Improved Shelby with kung fu grip and super profile…I will be able to put my hands on my hips like the superhero I was meant to be if it weren’t for heredity, and inhale LOTS of air MULTIPLE times in a row WITHOUT having to push my nose into a piggy snout, and get high on good old Oh Two. 
 
Bring it! 
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This entry was posted on Saturday, December 23rd, 2006 at 1:26 pm and is filed under Sleep Apnea. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.